My Pirate Office and Art Fort

We moved into a nicer, somewhat larger, home in March. It was a freezing cold weekend and I had acute bronchitis that turned into pnuemonia; I was working full time that week and we were trying to move everything ourselves, with a two-year-old in tow. Crazy doesn't even begin to describe it.
Almost June and I'm finally, finally! unpacked completely and settling in to this place. Inspired and fired up with the Spark Kit in my hot little hands... on my hot little desktop just doesn't have that ring to it... I nailed a bunch of holes in the wall and set up shop in one corner. The dining room has been commandeered and its now the pirate office and art fort that I've been needing to get together.
For two days now I've been working and painting and painting and working. I ran out of wall space and nails before I ran out of in-progress paintings to hang. Cluttered but functional: I have to see everything I'm working on all at once or I forget about it.

Seriously, I stopped counting after 22 pieces.
Photos of the mess? I have no shame.

Teething, arg

So the little man is a drooling cranky monster baby. It is impossible to get any painting done at all! Poor guy is completely miserable; can't eat, can't sleep... his whole word is crying and drooling. Where did my happy baby go?

I had a couple holiday pieces planned and a few little surprise paintings-one day I'll get them done! Right now I am working a tiny bit at a time, its like a Zen exercise... a painting one stroke a day... without the mindfulness normally involved.

3 months!

Happy 3 months little elf baby!
You'll look at these photos soon enough, and know just what dorks mommy and daddy really are. Next up, tunic, sword, and shield. So you can be a proper elf baby!
Grandma and I made that green Link-hat out of a green scarf I had. Its one size fits all, I can wear it! Daddy thinks I look super-duper silly in it. We also made a striped guitar plushie, its perfect sized for your right now! I haven't stuffed it yet, because I want to get the right stuff, in case you rip it apart or something. Choking on stuffing = bad times.

You drool all over the place now, and chew on everything. You've found your hands, so now every time you see your fists, you put them in your mouth. No, not one at a time. You see one, and then try to fit BOTH in your mouth. Then you slobber everywhere. Fun times! Now you are very cranky at night, fussy and crying for seemingly no reason. You have a hard time eating, you just chew on the nipple and then cry. You have trouble getting to sleep at night, and then you have trouble staying asleep. Sometimes we look at you whimpering and flailing in your sleep and wonder what could be the problem. Nightmares? Gas? We think you are teething, at three months, teething. Ah, what a special hell this will be. My poor little elf-baby. At least you are happy to see me in the morning.

You get one nice long nap during the day and then its play time. You hate tummy time. It makes you yell and scream and fake-cry. We call it fake crying because its more like a drawn out whine. We don't think you'll ever roll over again, or learn to crawl. You don't like laying down on your back or tummy. You want to sit straight up or stand. Maybe you'll skip crawling and just start walking.
I can't imagine the trouble you'll get into.

love,
Mommy

A vacation to Georgia stole my brain

The drive to Georgia from Florida is always enjoyable because of the beautiful landscape.

The clouds were white and fluffy floating in an impossibly blue sky. The trees and grass were miles of bright green set against this perfect backdrop, everything was like something out of a movie.
The sky just seemed to go on forever.


I took all these photographs from the window of a moving vehicle, they are all like captured landscape paintings, colors so gorgeously saturated that they seem fake.


I didn't alter the pictures at all, the grass and trees looked like they were glowing green in real life, too.


I spent almost an entire week preparing, for the trip... and then I needed a couple of days to unwind. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, or so I've heard, but I was taking a two-month-old and a lot had to be coordinated.
I was in charge of photography, which worked out great because I like being behind the camera. I took over 600 pictures during the three and a half days we spent away from home.
I took a lot of photos at night, and the camera setting did fun things with the light.


Like this one that looks like a time-lapse light show.


The twilight setting on the camera I was using caused this effect, its magical, and looks like a cloud of glittering fairies.


The camera effect and lighting make the water look like it is on fire, a really nifty and unexpected find.

It was blistering hot outside so the water was warm enough to feel like bath water, but most of our vacation was spent in the pool. Because of the Solstice the sun didn't set until almost 9:00pm.

The sunlight literally sparkled off of the surface of the water.

Family, food, and fun, what better way to spend Father's day? Such a fitting start to summer.

Dear Keian, 2.5 months

Hey little-little. My sweet elf baby. Can you believe it? A little more than two weeks and you will be three months old. Everyone thinks you are older because you have so much hair!

I told myself that I would be one of those moms that would write everything in the baby book: every sneeze, hiccup, every milestone. I need to stop lying to myself, there isn't enough time to write everything down.


You've had so many new experiences now! You've driven out of state lines on our first vacation, you've started your first bit of baby babbling, you even rolled over. We went to Georgia for Father's Day with your Grandpa, Aunts, and Uncle Joey to visit your Great Grandma and Great great Grandma. There were a lot of family members squeezed into those three and a half days, and a lot of driving. You went swimming, briefly, in the very warm pool. You said what we all swear was "ouchie!" plus a lot of BA! and MA! loudly, and sporadically. Your Uncle Joey payed guitar for you, and you are utterly fascinated with all things music. You really enjoy classical music and classic rock. You smile at me more, and you eat a ton. You're a little chunka-chunk now, its so cute. You have chubby little tootsie roll legs. You are too big for some of your newborn outfits already. It all goes by so fast, you know? One minute you were a tiny tiny baby, now you can almost hold your head up by yourself. You love to stand up when we hold you, and you are always wide-eyed, looking at everything.

While we were visiting my uncle you were playing with your Aunt Kerri and started to roll over. This scared your aunt. Everything you do scares your aunt. But I told her to let you go, and you rolled completely over, I was so excited I yelled and it startled everyone.
You sleep easier now, in your crib no less. You still won't take a pacifier for more than a couple of seconds, you realize there won't be any milk coming out, and then you get angry. Your dad gives the pacifier to you now just to see the expressions you make. Isn't he nice?

Our favorite place to go during the day is the library. You are so quiet during car rides and well behaved in public places. I'm glad I can go out with you and not worry about you screaming like other kids. I'm aware this could change, I hope it doesn't. Your eyes are still blue, I hope that doesn't change too.
I just keeping taking pictures because I know you will never be this little ever again.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Keian, (6 weeks)

Your aunt Cici bought a onesie for you that reads, "Hello, My Name is Trouble." Trouble is exactly what you are little mister. You had an appointment yesterday with your pediatrician and he said you are doing,"Not just good, but, Excellent." Then you proceeded to grab his stethoscope with you little baby death grip and not let go. You'll show him excellent, rawr!

You are six weeks old now, and a teensy bit longer than before, but man did you gain three pounds. I think its more like ten and you are just somehow hiding it from the scale. You look like you've doubled in size. In fact, I had to put you in that yellow jumper and take pictures because you will be too big for it next week. You are so sweet and chubby. Too bad you aren't cuddly, nope, if you are sleeping you do not want to be bothered by a mommy who wants to hug and kiss and cuddle. Can' I see that you are trying to sleep?!

Sometimes I catch a smile from you and I think you are really trying to smile at me, but then I learn differently. It is almost always a side effect of you passing gas, or worse. I call you elf-baby or little-little but maybe I should just refer to you as Sir Poops-a-lot, at least then your dad wouldn't be opposed to the nickname.
I want to take a zillion more pictures of you but you aren' t at your most photogenic right now, you have infantile acne and if its any indication of how your teenage years are going to be...well I'm sorry. Truly. You look like the token teenager from the Simpsons. You must get it from your father.
We are going to visit your aunts for the weekend, it should be very exciting for you. In fact, there are so many people that are going to be there that I don't think I'll get to hold you again until Sunday. I'm taking a nap.


Love, Mommy

Dear Keian, (5 weeks)

Little elf-baby, you've been growing! You were already too big for the setting we had the car seat on. We see you everyday, but I'm still amazed. While I was pregnant with you, I listened to a lot of Regina Spektor, and would sing it to you:

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

Especially those parts.

Today I gave you the biggest sloppiest kiss on the cheek. And you reached your angry little hand up to the spot and YOU WIPED IT OFF! No kidding. You wiped it off. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I think not. You are way to young to be doing things like that little Mr. I'm going to be giving you kisses for a long time. Get used to it!

Snippets of my day

The view outside

The last rose on the bush.

Detail of the embroidery
on my favorite purse,
taken in the blue evening light.

My jar of paint brushes
Paints waiting to be used
Paintings waiting to be finished

But those will wait,
its bath time.
These moments go by so fast
already
my tiny baby boy
is almost too big to fit
in the sink and be bathed
and he hates bath time
so I try to finish quickly
so he can be warm and dry
and happy
air guitar baby!

Sleepy baby

A post about my little sister

My youngest sister, Krista, has a part-time gig as my muse. Or maybe just a full-time position as a very annoying little sister who is tenacious and persistent. Either way it works enough to get me to draw things for her, and it eventually led to me painting again.

See, I went to a big-name, expensive, art college. I spent a lot of money on my education but I was very disenchanted with the entire experience. Its stupid really, because I carry that around with me as if it defines who I am, "Hello my name is Kat. I went to Art School and I hated it."
But really, I was so confused as to who I was as an artist after school that I didn't seriously paint anything for years. A lot of artists have had this same problem, and I just found this quote from Jim Hodges on another blog, Ullabenulla, where he describes exactly what I felt.

"When I got out of graduate school, I stopped Painting because it was overwhelming and because I couldn´t find myself in the material. But I also stopped because I was forcing myself to be a painter because I thought that was what my education had taught me. I realized I had accepted a lot of belief systems that were not necessarily mine. From then on, it was just a slow process of deconstructing this education and breaking things down to simple words. And 'beauty' was one of them.... I felt that I was part of a long tradition investigating what beauty is all about—the mystery of it, the elusiveness of it. So, I set out to understand what that word meant for me."


The first piece I painted when I was jumping back into it was a very odd color explosion of a portrait of Krista. (We call her Roo.) Excuse the blur, its the only photo I still have of this piece. I ended up painting blue over the background and then I put it away for a while to think about painting. Because I tend to do that, sit and think about things when I should just be doing them.
Krista commandeered this piece while I was contemplating what it all meant... and then promptly demanded more paintings.

That isn't the beginning of the story. I have three younger sisters. I've always wanted to be an artist, more specifically a Children's Book Illustrator. When my sisters were very young I would make up stories and illustrate the interesting bits to entertain my sisters while I babysat. Roo, the youngest and my junior by ten years, was always the one demanding more, she was in fifth grade in 2005, and in love with the Harry Potter series. She was diagnosed with dyslexia early in grade school and reading, well honestly school in general, was very frustrating for her. I read the first Harry Potter book to her, and she fell in love with the characters, and absorbed the rest of the books in the series almost overnight. I told her stories about her as a Gryffindor student and illustrated the funny parts. The story was renamed Kerri Potter (It was called Kerri Potter after another sister of mine, uhm... Kerri. Genius, right?) She and her older sisters were always getting into trouble. . They never saved the day, and were always in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was completely goofy. My sisters loved the stories. Roo's frustration with reading and learning faded a bit with each story.

These silly stories and comics were mostly inside jokes. I don't think they could possibly make sense to anyone else, but isn't that how inside jokes work? Like every kid who is having trouble in school, Roo would fight to get out of bed in the morning and actually get to school.


So I drew little comics on her brown lunch bag, to give her a little something extra to read at school. They were completely ridiculous but every kid at her lunch table grew to anticipate lunch time so they could read the newest Brown Bag comic. (No pressure on the artist there.) These two starred all three of my little sisters, Caitlin, Kerri, and Krista, in the Kerri Potter universe, pretending to be Jedi Knights with bananas as lightsabers.
See, silly inside jokes. But it worked. As long as I kept up the BBcomics, Krista kept bringing them into school... and of course if the bags were going to school, so was she.

Not all the stories and images were particularly flattering...I wrote a story/poem I wrote for her called, "My Little Sister Is A Goblin." It went something like this:

My little sister is a goblin.
It's true.
Just look into those beady little eyes of hers-she's not normal.
She has sharp elbows, sharp knees, and rows of extra sharp pointy little teeth.
Take your eyes off of her for a moment
And she is gone.
(off spoiling the milk or knotting peoples hair or doing other Goblin-y things)
No doubt about it.
My little sister is a goblin.

She will eat your liver.
She will eat your liver for breakfast.
Its her favorite thing to do.


... and it goes on. The bit about livers sounds odd but that is what she would threaten to do when she was angry with you- eat your liver.

I'm not sure she knew where your liver was, or what it did, so I illustrated your liver as being a type of breakfast cereal.

After Harry Potter, Roo's obsession turned to Pirates. Everything I drew had to be of her as a pirate. This evolved into her as a pirate with a pet octopus or squid. I started making finished pieces for her, she started being old enough and responsible enough to take care of them.




And now she is a teenager. She draws her own pictures and writes her own stories. She is interested in all things creative, especially creative writing. She wants to be an author. Spoiled by an older sister who is an artist, Roo routinely e-mails crazy pictures of herself for me to paint. I think she has more portraits of herself than any person ever.








These are just a few examples. She has walls papered with examples of art pieces I'll never be able to finish because she claims pieces from my sketchbook and from my unfinished piles for herself. She doesn't take no for an answer. Which is fine, because I'll be famous for portraits of my little sister... and I'll make her draw pictures for me.

Dear Keian, (three weeks)

Hey baby,
Three weeks already... it feels like you've been a part of our life for so much longer. It could just be that I don't get much sleep right now and in my delirium I think you've been around for forever. Your grandpa came to see you this weekend and he brought two of your aunts along. They like to fight over who gets to hold you, when, and for how long. I'm okay with that, it gives my arms a break. The visit was pretty uneventful, we did try out your new stroller but it was so hot outside that no one really enjoyed it much. Thank you Florida.
When you are six weeks old we can actually go into the swimming pool, which may offer some relief from the heat, too bad you hate being cold. You are going to be an inside baby until November when we can actually go outside without being slapped in the face with the heat and humidity.
You enjoyed bath time the first time, it was just you and me in the tub. You were floating in the warm water calm and alert, no kicking, crying, or splashing. You did not enjoy it the second time but I think that is because daddy was there. You thrashed in the water like we were trying to drown you, which we weren't, just in case you were wondering.
You wake and sleep at crazy hours. I thought I had it figured out. I thought I could get some sleep between four and midnight, while your father was awake, when you were most calm. You decided that calm time now happens during your father's sleep time and I get to pop awake every forty minutes or so to take care of something. Normally you just grab your pacifier and thrust it as far away from you as possible.. then you cry because you want it back. Its like a game. A horrible horrible game.
Sometimes I have to chose between painting or sleeping... and I choose painting. This always makes me cranky later, always, but I think it is the best decision of the two. I would go crazy feeling like I never got anything done if I just slept during your calm times. One day your father will understand why I'm so grouchy with him... he gets an almost-uninterrupted nights sleep. (He can sleep right through your crying. I can't.)

You make the funniest noises sometimes, a lot of times you sound just like a bird. I call you Quail-baby. Don't worry, that moniker won't stick. Your dad whistles bird calls at you, and we joke that you are going to grow up thinking you are a bird.
You don't like being kissed. This makes me kiss you more. All the time. I kiss your head and your cheeks and your belly and your toes. It makes you scrunch your face up and you look like an angry old man. Or, sometimes, when I try to kiss your face you think its time for food and you try to eat my nose. And just so you know, your breath stinks.
For some reason you stopped sleeping in your basket. Why, baby, why? You will only sleep on the bed with me or daddy. This means that only daddy or mommy can sleep at one time.. there simply isn't enough room for all three of us without one of us dangling precariously off the edge of the bed. Plus, you are a bed hog just like your father. (He will deny this, but I will get pictures, he likes to try and put his elbow IN MY BRAIN while I'm trying to sleep.)
Still, I'd rather you sleep for as long as possible so I can paint/cook/eat/drink/use the potty because once you are awake none of those things happen.

Ahh, soon you will sleep through the night. I keep telling myself that. Soon.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Keian,

Dear Keian,
You are a week old now. Everyone tells me how cute you are. You have my lips and nose and your dads eyes. You make the same faces I make when you sleep. You are just starting to keep your eyes open for more than a few moments at a time. Your dad makes funny noises that startle you and cause you to stare unblinking into space for the source of the sounds.
Dear Keian,
Having a baby is the weirdest thing. It is everything I thought it would be but so different that I thought it would be. I bet every new mom says that. I'm sure I've read that from other new moms a lot, actually. You just don't believe it. You really don't.

It was 3:30am when you woke up to eat. Now I'm awake. You finally ate enough to get back to sleep.
I have a baby. I can't imagine. My brain can't process that yet, I barely think in anything more than simple sentences.

I'm awake because the baby was awake. And hungry.
How can something so tiny eat so much? Every hour.
Every hour he is wailing for more food.
And yet, he lost an entire pound since his birth. (April 14th, 4:36pm. 7lbs 11.5 oz. All his fingers and toes intact.)
I live in some sort of bizarre-o world with a hummingbird baby. Sometimes he refuses to eat, and instead shoves his whole fist in his mouth, and then gets angry and wails at me because there isn't any milk coming out of his hand.
I feel like I might never get the hang of this.
He only wants me to hold him, or he won't go back to sleep.
He has an incredible amount of the softest brown hair on his head. I gave him a mohawk after his sponge bath because he's my baby and I get to do stuff like that.
The birthing wasn't too bad, actually. We went into the hospital at six in the morning for a scheduled induction. The eviction was prescheduled, and the Pitocin made everything work on some odd medical schedule. I had pain medication when things started to progress later in the afternoon and I was laughing when I should have been pushing. He shot out of me in just a few hours in labor like I had a cannon for a uterus. I kept saying, "That was too easy. Are you sure that is it?"
Which is one of those times that proves the universe hates me.
The after affects were worse than the labor, and now I have a million and ten stitches... or at least that is what it feels like.
More proof- there were a barrage of tests done on him, because that is what doctors do to newborns. He had blood drawn from his heel, and the phlebotomist literally had to squeeze and milk the blood from his foot. He was perfectly calm, which is great, except that he explodes with the loudest screams whenever I change his diaper. He screams and screams until everything is completely changed, like I'm stabbing him with hot pokers while dipping him into iodine.

He's hungry again. Right now. And he is batting me away, shoving his hand into his mouth, scrunching up his face in anger because there isn't anything good to eat in there. He kicks at me, and grabs at his cheeks and ears and pulls at them like he is trying to rip them from his face. Then I try to feed him again, or just get him to latch on, or calm down, or something... and he slaps my breast away. Fine then. I didn't want you to eat anyway. I think the milk just fuels his crying.

He's awesome and frustrating and hungry and cuddly. It is Zen-like, having a baby. You are always in the moment. Always hyper aware of what is going on with the baby, even when you are completely exhausted. (And keep forgetting to eat.) I overestimated how much sleep I would truly get. In the short spans of times when I do sleep (nap would be more accurate) I startle awake to check on the baby, just to make sure he is still breathing. I have some irrational fear that if I'm not with him every moment of every day he might stop breathing. Sometimes when I prod him just to make sure he is really alive, he grunts at me, and opens one squinty eye accusingly, and he looks like Popeye... if Popeye were cute.
Goodbye whatever normal used to be. I have a baby now.

February?

Where in the world did February go?!
OH my.

Everything around Katlandia is stuck in that odd sort of sped-up but slowed-down sort of time frame. Days go by slowly, joyfully, and then they turn into weeks... then zoom! February just passed us right on by. A lot of wonderful February days were spent simply day dreaming, doodling, lazily painting, and waiting for the weather to get just a bit warmer.
It is beautiful in Florida right now, cool and breezy. All the flowers on our bushes outside exploded into being, all of them are pink pink pink! We keep the windows and doors open all the time. We can grill outside, its strawberry season (YUM!) and if it warms by just a few more degrees, we can swim in the pool. This is my favorite time to be in Florida.

We moved into a much nicer home with an extra room and are preparing for the baby. Sometimes you just get so swept away with the whole packing and unpacking thing that moving into a new place feels like it takes months!

Only a month and a half to go until we get to meet the little guy, my due date, according to the ultrasound, is now officially April 19th. Not that it means anything to a baby, they do what they want. Right now, judging from all the movement, I think its the hokey-pokey.

Miss Vanessa over at A Fanciful Twist tried my favorite recipe right now, Sticky Lemon Chicken, and took the yummiest looking photo. Now I know the recipe I want to try out on the grill next.

Journal Page 15

Journal Page 15 white
I have a lot of trouble leaving things be. Especially if those things are entirely white spaces. I had decided ahead of time to use a lot of texture and layers to achieve the white on white look I wanted... then I cheated and used pink and blue, but added a couple of white layers over the top. I thought I would be done with it a lot sooner than I was but it needed a lot of drying time.
I started making a list of things I wanted to experiment with on my journal pages, and then I realized its already the 16th.
I can't believe how far into January we are already.
I'm moving into a new house at the end of the month. I'm having a baby sometime in May (Or maybe April if he wants to come early.)
They say the older you get the faster time moves for you.
I think I understand that now.