Face Study 2008
I don't even know what style I want to paint in, really. I can paint in a lot of different ways, it is hard for me to chose... but I know want a cohesive body of work so I need to figure out what my unique style really is. Do I want to be a decorative painter, a realistic painter, an illustrator, a children's artist, a fine artist, a folk artist... Who knows? I know what I like, and what I do not... but I don't want to paint like anyone else. With this study I was trying to work out just how to paint faces for future paintings... I am sort of happy with it, but I need to tweak some details. But I've already moved onto another piece, so the learning process will continue there.
I've been floundering with a grouping of paintings that I can't seem to finish. I'm having so many issues with painting in general; really with the ideas, with the ability to cull and edit and not put every idea into one piece. I get so so so frustrated that I worry and bite my nails an lose sleep all over paintings that I am working on. I hate having pieces not finished. I want them done, I want them done *Yesterday* and I want them to be the perfect way that I have them in my head. And then I want to be able to add every little bit and piece of technique and medium and painterly style into one poor little 5" x 7" piece until it is muddled and muddy and cluttered and a bit disjointed... Nothing goes together, the composition doesn't work... and what is happing with those colors? There are days I want to break my paint brushes.
And there are days that things just work... that I'm not too worried about the finished product, that I can just sit and paint.
Those days are magic.
I've been painting and trying to ignore the desire to pick a piece a part until I hate it, or overthink and overpaint a piece until I hate it.
I just keep working and working, hoping to get passed this... and if it gets too much I put the paintings away for a while.
Here are the latest two in acrylic, beeswax, and mica on wood.
I called this piece Lush because thats what I was thinking about while painting it, lush green foliage. I wish I could have a garden, but I can't make plants grow. The moths were going to be butterflies, but I didn't want to add anymore colors, so I left them white and glowing like ghost moths. Originally (in the Youtube 'making of' video) the girl was not a faerie.. but then I added wings because it just felt right... or because I love faeries. I feel like the style I've been working in has a bit of that 'children's illustrator' quality to it from back in the day when I wanted to illustrate books. Also it seems I have a thing for that watery ethereal blue eyes.
Cloud Cover 2008
I always feel the need to tell stories with/about my work, but this piece just sort of happened. I had painted the girl, becuase that is just what my default painting subject happens to be, and I was playing with some heavy gel gloss adding layers of color and texture in the background... then the shapes looked like clouds so I went with it. The arcs of rain were inspired by rainbows... they are like little rainbow slides for the raindrops to cascade down. I know its silly ^_^ but it doesn't get much deeper than that on my end, I'll leave it up to the viewer to decide their own meaning.